Miss you so much Ma. Below is my eulogy: Good afternoon everyone here today, both in person and those viewing online all around the world. I’m sure my mum would be surprised and honoured by this impressive turn out. Sadly, this is the fourth time I have stood up to give a eulogy, and I have to tell you it doesn’t get any easier. Nothing could have prepared me for the overwhelming pain I have been feeling and there are no words adequate enough for me to express how much I will miss my mum. Ma was the rock of the family. The number 6, or holding midfielder, if you will. Not the most glamorous or most fun role, but the most reliable, the most dependable, the most important. The most irreplaceable. One of, if not, the earliest memory I have is being at the Treaty shopping centre in Hounslow with Ma and Kate. Kate must’ve been around a year old, which would’ve made me 4. We were on one of the upper floors and needed to take the escalator down. Usually, Ma would’ve held my hand going down, but as she had to take care of Kate she asked me if I would be able to follow her on the step behind. I’m not sure if I didn’t understand or just thought that I would be okay, but I said “yes”. My mum and Kate then stepped onto the escalator and, instead of getting on behind them, I realised I wasn’t able to go down myself. I froze, and as I watched them descend, I could see, and still remember the look of fear and panic in my mum’s eyes, for sure she was more scared than I was. She told me to wait there and that she would be back up as soon as she could which comforted me. However, a kind lady heard all the commotion and offered to take me down with her. I didn’t want her to, I wanted to wait for my mum to come back up and take me. But I felt, at that moment, I had already caused enough distress to everyone so I got on the escalator with that lady and rejoined my mum at the bottom. That memory has always stuck with me and I never knew why until this year. Those close to me know how I struggled to deal with my mum fighting her illness and getting through her treatment this year, whilst balancing that with my own life and own troubles on the other side of the North Sea. It literally tore me apart, and I will never truly recover from that. But I have l grown from it, and I have learnt that sometimes you can’t take everyone on the escalator with you, sometimes you have to make difficult choices and sometimes you have to let others to take the escalator by themselves. It is a good moment to thank the many friends and family who helped me through that, and particularly my therapist who has really taught me how to process and deal with things and of course my lovely wife who has been increasingly patient, understanding and loving throughout this all, despite dealing with her own pain and suffering. Regardless if it’s a good or bad thing, I have always treated people based on how they treated me. And this is why I took Ma’s illness and treatment so personal. I wanted to fight the disease and make her better myself, just as she would’ve done for me. And I would’ve done anything and everything I could to do so. But I learnt, that was not my fight to fight, and I had to accept that. However sad or frustrating that may have been. But this is a celebration of Ma’s life, I don’t want to spend any more time talking of the horrors of 2024. Although too short, my mum had a fantastic life. Starting with her ideal childhood, with the aforementioned mixture of a cockney father and a mother from Tipperary, her formative years never sounded like anything less than beautiful, wholesome and fun. Despite being an only child, she was rich with cousins and spoke so fondly of the great times she had with them and her aunties and uncles. Especially her auntie Peggy, uncle Ronnie and cousin Eileen, who I am very happy has been able to join us today, with whom she traveled to Carrick every summer on the train. This year we watched a TV show together about rivers, which had an episode on the river Shur, within which I was able to see the town of Carrick and she was able to point out many landmarks to me including the ruined castle where her and Eileen used to climb and play. I really cannot wait to go there myself to see where my nan grew up and where Ma used to vacation every year. She got to experience working in central London. Everyday putting on her high heels and getting on the Tube. Making great memories and greater friends. Having a full and rich social life. I’m happy she had those times. She went on to meet my dad at Oscar’s, twice actually, and after a long courtship got married. Which of course was necessary in order for her to fulfil her destiny of best mum ever. Their wedding sounded like the most fun wedding I have ever heard of, and if I could go back to one day in the past from before I was born then for sure it would be 7th July 1984. Although I am biased, I truly believe I had the perfect childhood. Fun holidays to Butlin’s and also abroad every year, weekly trips to Nanny Polly’s, fun games in and out of the house, no chores or responsibilities just fun all day everyday. But none of it would’ve been possible without my mums kindness, love, structure and generosity. I’ll always remember getting home from school and being allowed one bar of chocolate, two biscuits and one bag of crisps before dinner. Ah, and dinner. Food will never be as good again, no one cooked food like my mum did. You can be Gordon Ramsey or Nigella Lawson, but you won’t be able to put in her secret ingredient to the degree that she put in. The secret ingredient was, of course, love. On the positive side, I am extremely grateful that she was able to give some cooking tips to my wife, including specifying how much of the secret ingredient to put in and the results are getting really good. Her pride in me is something that I can never replace. I could tell many stories of this, but due to limited time I will settle on one. At half term, aged around 8 or 9, I went to a football training camp. Now, I can’t pretend to have had any footballing pedigree, some of my childhood friends are here today to contend that, but I did win an award, and two premier league tickets that went along with it, purely for effort and perseverance. Definitely not the most glamorous or sought after of the many awards that they gave out that week. But at the end of the ceremony my mum went up to the coaches and asked them what the award was for again as she didn’t hear it. In the car on the way home, I asked how come she didn’t hear the first time and she confessed that she did hear, she was just so proud and wanted to hear him say it again. So nice, so proud, so wholesome, that was my mum. And that pride, that care, those worries, and the constant love and attention didn’t wane as I moved into adulthood. Don’t forget your keys, make sure you have everything, wear a coat, turn your boiler off, allow yourself plenty of time, keep your passport safe, make sure your phone is charged, don’t drink too much, I could go on. I read before that by the time you move out of your parents house, you have already spent 98% of your time with them, as you go from being with them almost 24/7 to just seeing them weekly or monthly or whatever it may be. That was definitely not the case for me. In addition to frequent trips home to visit, I would call my mum everyday, rain or shine. There were also three extended periods of being with her in adulthood. The first was 2013, where she nursed me after I got hit by a car. As most of you know I was fully disabled, unable to push my own wheelchair, and needing support for even the most basic and embarrassing of human needs, she was there for me. The second was in 2016, after my dad died. There was so much to do in addition to the emotional turmoil we were both feeling, we were there for each other. And finally this year, when she needed support through her treatment, I did everything I could, and although we lost the battle, she knows I was there for her. At this point I want to thank Sherie who really stepped up and was there for my mum this year. She truly appreciated this, and felt your love. You were and always will be a true daughter to her. And that aforementioned statistic was also not true for Kate. She also spoke with Ma, I believe, multiple times a day, they had many trips and adventures together and of course Ma was planning to move to Australia to be with her, Jimmy and sweet baby Flynn, both of whom she was besotted with and loved with all her heart. She only finally agreed to make the big move after seeing how settled and happy I am with my wife Benta. I am truly grateful that she got to see how I found my soulmate, this gave her peace of mind, and allowed her to make plans to move to a different continent safe in the knowledge that I was being looked after by a strong, sweet and beautiful woman. Benta and my mum have a lot of love for each other, Ma would call her “Miss Piggy” and one of her favourite passtimes was documenting a food diary for Benta. I am also grateful that Benta got to meet my mum and see what a lovely, kind and generous woman she was. It breaks my heart that she didn’t get to move to Australia and enjoy some care free years of being a grandmother and further maximising her retirement in the sun with friends, family and fun. Life can be so cruel. But I will try to be positive, it only hurts so much because the love ran so deep. I know my mum will always be in my heart and I will always be in hers. I love you Ma, and I’ll see you at the end of the escalator. Thank you all. Peace.

I have been thinking about all the good times Annie and I had when we were younger and those memories will be forever etched in my heart. She was a special human being with a heart of gold and someone I have been lucky enough to call a friend.

Have been struggling to write anything because it feels like no matter what I put down, it will never be enough to capture the wonderful women you were and fabulous times we shared. From cocktail making, uno playing, racing through casinos for our limo and Heli ride, to simple chilled nights in together, I am truly grateful for the wonderful memories we shared. I’m glad you are no longer in pain and somewhere out there in the universe you have been reunited with John 🫶🏻 You will forever live on, in all of our hearts. Lots of love always Your Roomie aka JoJo xxx